On August 12 the crew of the Canadian sailboat Mandolyn arrived in Ketchikan Alaska, officially closing a loop of the Pacific Ocean which took them over three years to complete.

But it wasn’t just any loop. Upon arrival the crew announced that they had accomplished something sensational: They had traced the shape of a gigantic speech bubble, above New Zealand.

The investigative team from raisethemain.com had the chance to interview a crew member from SV Mandolyn, who wishes to remain anonymous.

RTM: Congratulations are in order! When did you decide to pull off a stunt like this?

Mando: “Well it was probably back in the early two thousands. People were drawing speech bubbles above all kinds of things back then. Mostly cats I guess. And we just had this lightbulb moment, like, what if we drew our own speech bubble, above New Zealand?”

To accomplish this feat, you visited 19 countries. You sailed the equivalent of the circumference of the earth. You spent almost 200 nights at sea and homeschooled your children for three years. Did you ever have doubts?

“Yup, it was a real pain in the ass, but we got’er done.”

Now that you’ve drawn a speech bubble, is there anything in particular that you want New Zealand to say?

“Not really, no. The speech bubble is our gift to the world. Somebody else can fill in the words. Would take for-frickin-ever.”

And why the focus on New Zealand?

“Well, we were a little concerned over what Australia might have to say. Pretty colorful language there.”

Aside from the speech bubble, you must have had a strong desire to travel?

“Nope, it was always about the bubble. We were only in it for the glory, right from the start.”

What about experiencing foreign cultures?

“Um no. Foreign cultures smell weird.”

Sampling foreign foods?

“Gross.”

Meeting fellow adventurers and forging lifelong friendships?

“So we have to send out Christmas cards for the rest of our lives? No thank you.”

You must have met amazing local people in foreign countries?

“Are you kidding? We watch the news. Local people are basically immigrants that haven’t gone anywhere yet. We lived in constant fear.”

Wow, that’s quite xenophobic. Did you ever consider just drawing a speech bubble on a map, using a graphic editing tool?

“In hindsight, sure, that would have been a lot easier, but what’s done is done.”

There you have it. A stunning accomplishment from an unlikely crew. The face of the earth will never look quite the same, and New Zealand, finally, has a voice.

“I believe we also drew the worlds largest song bird.”

Oh… wow.

“And pirate ship.”

Ok…

“And tadpole.”

This interview is over.

Next stop: Canada!